Frustration, stress, FCing, and boredom.

I think all of my eve-related desires could be summed up with an "If only......." statement.

Such as these:

If only I had 60 reliable skilled pvp pilots.....
If only I had a fleet that could take on this 10 man gang in OMS....
If only I had a corporation with people who could fly tech 2 cruisers....
If only I could run 40 man sniperhac fleets....
If only my fleet members knew what "turning brackets off" is
If only I was the FC of this fleet (usually followed by "we would't be in pods")
If only we had 20 capital ships to kill this pos



etc....

TBH, I wish I had an army of 60+ mindless zombies who could think for themselves, but never questioned an order....

Not only that, but I could start up a corp right now.....start advertising....and get people to join just because I can say "we can be a good corp, we can kill hostiles, we can fight of griefers, we can join a good alliance in a few years time" But the problem is, we can; is just an empty promise. And just because one guy believes me, doesn't mean the next will.

To give outsiders some insight, an fleet is an extension of their FC, yes their own performance affects the fleets performance. But in the end, win or loose, its the FCs fault. Now, for those of you who have never played eve or been in a real fleet....NOT being the FC is not a bad deal, in fact, I wish I didn't have this desire to be the one in charge. You only have to worry about your own ship, dont have to worry about everyone elses, and you don't have to be concerned about diplomatic matters, and you sure as hell dont have to worry about winning or loosing a fight, which could decide the fate of your alliance.

I used to be the head FC of a crap alliance, while it annoyed me to death that we couldn't get a gang above 20....it wasn't all that bad.

I then went and joined up with a badass group of PVPers with 2x as much sp as me, I knew going into it I wouldn't be FCing much.....I didn't think id miss it.

And now im back in a crap corp again, former member of a crap alliance, trying to raise a pheonix from the ashes. Right now we don't have any fleets at all, because im up in faction warfare because the rest of the corp (with the exeption of 2 people) is temporarily in the quietest pocket of lowsec grinding up the gallente standing ive ever seen...


Right now im considering slapping up a thread on the recruitment forums asking people if they want an FC for their decent (and I would make sure that it was) PvP corp, because im sick and tired of not having fleet members to help me pvp. The only thing gluing me to the corp im in atm is loyalty, loyalty to the 2 people in charge because ive flown with them for close to a year on-and-off.


So what should I do?

Well I could try to build the altcorp up with people I recruit, and im going to try this either way to at least supplement the WiOD membership......but its going to be a long hard road, and I think the first thing I need to realize is that its going to be a LONG time before we are doing roaming RRing BS gangs like the pros.


There are 3 kinds of people in eve, the people who create, the people who destroy, and the people who just slip right in with whatever someone else has created. I don't want to be the third, and im tired of being the second, im damn ready to be the former, to actually make a pvp group, even If I have to do it from scratch, or if i have to do it from where someone else left off....



But anyways, ive got 5 days of pure eve before I have to go back to just playing on the weekends.....and unfortunately this dream will probably fade just like all the others have



OOG news: For the third time ive had some charges on my bank account I dont recognize, and now im having to lock my bank account so they can investigate the charges.....meaning my main charachters account will probably be offline for a few weeks.